This is not going to be one of those sappy, “There are no good men”, “Relationships Suck” type of blog. I’m posing some questions, seeking dialogue, and of course giving my opinion.
I’m a person that never liked dating, so I didn’t date often. I hated the whole process…it made me apprehensive. But I always loved the idea of real, unconditional love. To have someone that sees your soul, uplifts you when you’re down, has your back, respects and protects you. You are theirs and they are yours. You trust them with your heart, because they made you feel a security like no one else could. If you think about it, that’s what everyone is seeking, but many are not willing to give it.
My friends and I have conversations about relationships often. And here’s my synopsis: Love is hard work. It’s action and a voluntary process that assist you in purging selfishness. It’s not for PUNKS. It’s beautiful and powerful and could literally change the course of your life and many others destiny. I’m not going to bible beat, but I am a Christian, so…
1 Corinthians 13:4-8(NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
I know we all know of situations where despite a person’s good motives and attempt to love on their significant other, that other person allowed that relationship to crumble. So was it really love to being with? How can you love, when the person you love doesn’t see the good in you that everyone else sees? Or they misconstrue even your most innocent, non pretentious actions. How do you reconcile with yourself, when you honest and truly loved that person and were willing to go through the storm with them and they still pushed you away?
My 2 cents: Unconditional love is something for all of us to aspire to. Get to know your significant other’s heart. When you know their heart, you will understand their motives. Become friends. Genuinely care about their well being. People aren’t dispensable. BUT don’t allow unconditional love to keep you in a abusive relationships. “I love you no matter what happens,” NOT “no matter what you do to me.”(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/getting-back-out-there/201609/what-is-unconditional-love) You can love people from afar and still want the best for them. Don’t count people out. God has a plan for their life too. But on the other end, everybody’s not on the same level. Due to past hurt, pain, and experiences some people can’t love you the way you want or need to be loved. And that won’t change until they’re willing to change. It’s not your job to change/fix them. Your job is to show them what love can be even if they don’t receive it, pray for them, and move on. Plant the “Love” seed. Remember, love never fails.
So to answer my original question, “If it was so fragile, was it really love?” No it’s not unconditional love, but what that person knows to be love in their hurt and broken state (deceptive love).
Real love is something not to give up on. Don’t settle. But also realize, if you’re not willing to give it, why do you expect to receive it. Selah…pause and think
I would love to hear your feedback!
Until the next time stay, “Beautiful, Sassy, and Sophisticated!!”
Shemmyla Green aka Ms. Sophisticated